Yup, I am the kind of Mum people love to hate, I am far from perfect and I refuse to pretend otherwise!
Some people find parenting as an amazingly wonderful experience, their children are made of gold plated platinum and smell of Estee Lauder, they are potty trained from birth, shit roses and sleep all night and often have lie-ins.
My children are snotty little grebs who spend an inordinate amount of time picking their noses, burping and talking about poo! Beboo is obsessed with dog biscuits and makes a bee line every time the gate is left open and Pops makes it her life’s work to be the loudest child known to man with no real filter!
Some mothers bake all day and have the tidiest house. Washing is done, toilet is ready for the Queen to visit and Husbands are cleanly shaven and extraordinarily happy. Beds are made and there is nothing crusty on any of the carpets. They go to WI and have regular coffee mornings in Starbucks.
Our house always has this constant battle going on, between crust, crumbs and the hoover, with the latter always coming out on top. My Husband and I do always have cleanly shaven heads, which for some is off putting and our love of tattoos make us top of everyone’s guest list! HA! Toilet humour and lack of personal space is something we thrive off. If you want to shut the toilet door, be prepared for Pops to drop by and judge the shape of your shit! Wormy or mountainous, she can name them all!
I shout and I get irate, albeit briefly and regretfully, there is also no real discipline regime in this house either, we count down from 5 and have no idea what would happen if we got to 1, probably bribery.
I am not ashamed to say I have bad days and wonder who’s idea it was to have kids.
With all this, I am still a Mum, a very different Mum but a Mum nonetheless! I need help and I am not afraid to ask for it. We are far from normal and I like it. The girls are happy, normal children, who will always be top of the priority list, I have holey pants and rank bras to prove it!
Most of all though, we love each other an awful lot. I am so proud to be the crappy, over sharing, open Mum that I am, I would much rather be that than perfect, perfect is boring!